FOMO While Solo Traveling

Solo traveling can be the pinnacle experience of freedom, but that freedom is often suppressed by fear. Fear of missing out (FOMO) can be paralysing while you should be living your best life.

A change of mindset can help you move forward towards true freedom.

Solo travelers and backpackers venture out into the world to live unforgettable experiences. Because our time in a place is limited, we often go from one highlight to another. Our Lonely Planet books give us so much inspiration on where to go and what to do there. At times, it can feel like the travel book turns into a travel itinerary. "If I don't experience everything this place has to offer, I'll miss out on the opportunity of a lifetime," we often think.

The fear of missing out (FOMO) can paralyze us. It can push us beyond our limits, but in a bad way, and turn what should be an enriching experience into a source of stress and anxiety.

I've often dealt with negative feelings like this during my travels. I'd be in one place and find myself already dreaming away about the next one. I couldn't fully soak up my surroundings because I'd be afraid of all the opportunities that were slipping away.

Over the years, I've learned how to navigate myself better in the infinite possibilities a solo traveler lifestyle has to offer. In this blog, I want to explore the lessons and mindsets that have helped me be more at ease while exploring the world.

Imfinite possibilities, choose one reality

When solo traveling, you are presented with infinite possibilities. In the mist of all these opportunities, we can get lost. To keep finding your way, remind yourself that you are the sculptor of your own reality.

You've fallen in love with a place? Stay longer.

Can't stand the crowd in your hostel? Bounce to another one.

Don't feel like walking in the blazing heat? Jump in a cab, etc.

Life is all about making decisions. In order to do that effectively, you need to know what you want. The way to reach that is by listening to what's being said from within and nurture that source of guidance and creativity.

It's this creativity that should dictate your reality. If you listen closely and follow the cues it gives you, you'll find yourself ending up in the right place at the right time. Some people call it magic; I prefer to see it as energetic.

You let every step bring you closer to this stream of energy. When you reach its riverbank, you enter the flow. Without resistance, go along with the rapids and currents. Once you experience it, you'll see how easy life can be.

Of course, this doesn't mean that you surrender to it entirely, and take a passive stance towards life. As much as you're flowing on external energy, it's still your internal energy that's guiding the way. The two cannot be separated. In this way of life, all is one.

Own your decisions!

You are the master of your time and space. These are your most valuable resources in life, but too often we give this power away to others. These resources should be looked upon as sacred, especially while solo traveling.

Giving away this learning school is a waste of our priceless resources. Of course, you can travel again, but the opportunity of that particular moment is gone. And nothing can ever bring it back, neither traveling back to the same place.

That's why it's so crucial to take ownership of your decisions. Whatever you end up doing: Staying or leaving, participating or not, sticking to your plan or adjusting to your newfound inspiration.

The most important thing is that you make a decision with your heart. Let go of all rationalization and excuses and radically decide!

It'll free up your mind, release you from paralysis, and make you move in the right direction. From there, you can still pivot and navigate in a more accurate, perhaps balanced path.

The decision is yours to make, so make it!

“You Miss Out on More Than You Experience”

This title is a direct translation of a Dutch poem called 'Je mist meer dan je meemaakt' by Martin Bril. For the of longest times, I only knew this one verse of his. "You miss out on more than you experience", sounded like a very important lesson, and I'd repeat it to myself in times of doubt. It's only later that I went to read the actual poem and discovered the following verse: 'that's not bad at all.' I liked it; it closed the saying off with a conclusion.

What I didn't like were the connotations of the words that were used. Focusing on the negative 'bad' felt futile to me.

Where your focus goes, your energy flows!

I took the liberty to make the poem my own by changing the last verse. This is what I came up with:

You miss out on more than you experience, so truly live your experience, or miss out on everything.

I carry this mindset with me wherever I go. The duality of the new verse gives me two choices, on of which has to be avoided at all cost, thus leaving only space for the positive one to exist. I think of it when I feel that I'm missing out on things or envy someone else's reality. It reminds me of this fact in life: we miss out on more than 99.99% of all possible experiences, which only leaves us with this 0.01% to live through.

We can see the grass as greener on the other side, or we can work on our side, engage with it, nurture it, and create something valuable. As I've explored in another blog post called "Addition By Subtraction," value is in the eye of the beholder. I believe that this mindset sharpens our eyes to see what we have instead of what we're missing out on.

Nurture gratitude

Gratitude is everything. If you have the opportunity to travel, to be abroad simply for the joy of it, you really cannot complain about missing out. It´s your decision to travel, and seeing this richess as not enough, is bad for the soul.

Of course, there's so much to see, and short travel time can make you feel like it's impossible to do what you wanted to do. That's because it is impossible. We can never do everything, everywhere, all at once. (I recommend watching the spectacular movie "Everything Everywhere All at Once" by Daniels to help you understand what it would look like if we could.)

Placing yourself in an entirely different and new environment is mind-expanding. You learn more about humans and their cultures and traditions. The food they eat, the music they listen to, the words they use. All of it will make you understand yourself better. And isn't that the most important motivation to travel?

There's so much to learn in a foreign country, but we're attracted by the highlights, the snapshots, the saturated colors of highly praised places and activities.

We discard what we have and where we are, in order to make a forced space for something else to appear.

Much more than going far, solo traveling should be about going deep.

The danger occurs when we go out of our way/our camino, to follow someone else's path. It's in this stream of wandering that we often get lost and end up empty-handed.

I recently picked up the Spanish proverb that captures this idea perfectly:

Más vale pájaro en mano que ciento volando or as the English saying goes: "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush."

Conclusion

In the end, it all comes down to living without regrets. You won't be able to do everything, heck, you won't even be able to do all half of the things you want to do. There are simply too many possibilities and ideas. The more you explore and dive deeper into places, the more you'll understand that you're never really missing out on anything. Focus on what you have, not on what´s lacking.

Whenever you're being pulled in two directions and can feel yourself heading nowhere fast, a change of perspective is all you need.

Take a break, find a quiet place of peace to reflect, and feel what your heart is whispering to you. Then, without further contemplation, radically decide. The move might not be perfect, but at least it'll get you rolling.

Where your focus goes, your energy flows!

Blog out!

Durim Morina

San Gil, Colombia

10/08/2023